Walking the Dog

Person #5 walks his dog and is stopped by person #4.

4: Pardon me, but why are walking your dog?

5: It has four legs, has it not?

4: Four legs do belong to that dog, but that is irrelevant.

5: On the contrary, this dog having four legs is relevant to my walking him.

4: Tell me, o canine strider.

5: Many years ago when television lingered in the mind of its inventor, I sauntered to the dismal city pound in which the dispirited faces, belonging to so many prime pups, caught my eye. I saw imprinted on their aggrieved faces the frown of innocence, so I offered the pound manager--

4: Pound manager?

5: Yes. Mr. Fregg was his name, I think. So I offered Mr. Fregg five cents--

4: A nickle?

5: Four pennies and two half pennies

4: I see.

5: I beseech that you do not hinder me so rudely, my friend. Good-bye!

4: What about your dog story?

5: Oh, I apologize. So I offered the pound manager four pennies and two half pennies so I may take the hounds out for a vivacious afternoon's promenade.

4: Yes...

5: As we strolled through Thomas Park, lovely ladies and kind children offered me two bits for the dogs of their volition. With my benevolence intact, I bestowed the wonderful women and admirable urchins the dogs for no expenditure.

4: What did the pound have to say about that?

5: They did not "have" to say anything, but they did.

4: What did they say?

5: "The rock sails to the feet of Anchoret."

4: How odd.

5: Very.

4: What did they mean?

5: To this very day, the maxim still bedevils me.

4: What does this all have to do about four legs?

5: I'm sorry. Did I veer off the topic?

4: You did.

5: What was the inquiry again, may I ask?

4: The what?

5: The inq--question.

4: Ah! What about the four legs?

5: Dogs have them.

4: I know, but correlate that with your reason for walking the dog.

5: The dog?

4: Yes, the quadruped at your side. [4 points. 5 looks and is startled at the dog's presence.]

5: How did this beast get here?

4: You brought it here.

5: Impossible.

4: Look. [pointing again] Your holding its leash. [5 looks at his the leash in his hand and is startled again.]

5: How quaint. [5 drops the leash] Dog, be gone! [5 stomps his foot and points away. The dog remains seated.]

4: I think you've found a friend.

5: Of course he's my friend. He's my dog. Right, Poseidon?

[The dog wags its tail furiously.]

4: Just a minute ago you denied that dog as being yours.

5: I admire your tenacity, but you are a bit neurotic.

4: Neurotic? Me? I'm not the one who keeps changing the stories about your dog.

5: Correct, but I don't go around and stop a chap from enjoying his walk with his dog.

4: If you didn't want to talk to me, then why didn't you just tell me instead of dragging me into an unruly conversation.

5: Fine, then I apologize for invigorating your life with stories so fantastic as the ones I tell.

4: The stories you tell are stupid!

5: Stupid? If you want to hear a stupid story, go ask your parents about your childhood years.

4: Are you saying that I lived a dull childhood?

5: No, I am saying you lived a stupid one! [5 laughs]

4: Alright, that's it! [4 is about to slug 5]

5: Sick him! [The dog growls and 4 backs off]

4: If that dog bites me, I'll file suit.

5: Come on, Poseidon, let's leave this ill-tempered man to himself. [5 and dog leave 4 by himself]