Introduction

This blog is the online representative of my writing throughout the 1990s. Fortunately or unfortunately, I do not write like this anymore. I intended to publish the zaniest bits in a book entitled Utter Weirdness. There will be no such book written by the current me.


For a good portion of the nineties, I was socially awkward--weird. I guess the term "weird" is still somewhat of a compliment for teenagers. Instead of interacting with people awkwardly, I chose to compose weird pieces of writing. However, it's not the same writing as one would find in Weird Tales. Writing, college, and my first teaching job helped me overcome my sense of being weird. The transition was kind of like this: shy guy to immature prankster to goofy reactionary to apparently less weird.


After a lot of self-reflection and analysis, I believe I was actually quite normal. I was just behind in social development, and I believe I'm somewhat in the "normal" range. I can be weird if I want to be, but I'm not constantly in a state of weirdness like I thought I was for the last decade of the 20th Century.


So here it is, the utterly weird writing of Jeremy, 1990-2000. If you prefer not to read in this random order, use the labels to read by genre or time period (high school, college, first teaching job).

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Burt Reynolds Rap

Burt Reynolds is he
The Oscar nominee
He can swim and can ski
In “Trigger Happy”
He’s dangerous as can be
The man who is free

Burt Reynolds, Burt Reynolds
Burt! Burt!
Burt Reynolds, Burt Reynolds
Burt! Burt!

The old son of a gun
In Cannonball Run
His life is complete fun
This man can’t be stunned
In “Nickelodeon”
He was second to none

Burt Reynolds, Burt Reynolds
Burt! Burt!
Burt Reynolds, Burt Reynolds
Burt! Burt!

Welles said success is him
He’s so suave on a whim
He’ll never sink, only swim
Full of vigor and vim
Life is never grim
When Burt Reynolds is him

Burt Reynolds, Burt Reynolds
Burt! Burt!
Burt Reynolds, Burt Reynolds
Burt! Burt!

He won a Golden Globe
Accepted in his robe
No alien will probe
More than his ear lobe
In the light of a strobe
Is the glory of his Globe


Burt Reynolds, Burt Reynolds
Burt! Burt!
Burt Reynolds, Burt Reynolds
Burt! Burt!

Since “Armored Command”
He ruled movie land
Carrying a gun in his hand
He’s turned men into sand
Sixty years he has spanned
A life perfectly planned
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