Introduction

This blog is the online representative of my writing throughout the 1990s. Fortunately or unfortunately, I do not write like this anymore. I intended to publish the zaniest bits in a book entitled Utter Weirdness. There will be no such book written by the current me.


For a good portion of the nineties, I was socially awkward--weird. I guess the term "weird" is still somewhat of a compliment for teenagers. Instead of interacting with people awkwardly, I chose to compose weird pieces of writing. However, it's not the same writing as one would find in Weird Tales. Writing, college, and my first teaching job helped me overcome my sense of being weird. The transition was kind of like this: shy guy to immature prankster to goofy reactionary to apparently less weird.


After a lot of self-reflection and analysis, I believe I was actually quite normal. I was just behind in social development, and I believe I'm somewhat in the "normal" range. I can be weird if I want to be, but I'm not constantly in a state of weirdness like I thought I was for the last decade of the 20th Century.


So here it is, the utterly weird writing of Jeremy, 1990-2000. If you prefer not to read in this random order, use the labels to read by genre or time period (high school, college, first teaching job).

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Clark Notes

This is a selected portion of writing I composed during dead time at the gas station where I used to work in the summer.  I numbered them for your convenience.


  1. Compliments to peppermints.
  2. A heavy sweater should not wear a heavy sweater.
  3. The Dollar is the Rich Man’s Food Stamp.
  4. The Exclamation Point album
  5. The Exclamation Points – a command for our generation
  6. Intelligent rebellion, the righteous crusade
  7. The Derelict Delegate
  8. Just for the taste of it…(volunteer)
  9. I’d like to hold a mass suicide for my next piece, so will the audience please kindly hold your breath until you…well, er…die! While you do that I will read…this poem! “Asphyxiation!”
  10. Thief Art
  11. Test your luck in my Randometer…throw me a dollar!
  12. Please sign the 120’ receipt [rijsijt] in the shape of a battleship
  13. Knock Your Socks Off!
  14. My imaginary source of light is always on the MOVE
  15. I heard that there’s a clown runnin’ around your ears ever since you looked through my telescope, catharsis.
  16. ⇑ This arrow must point down. Who broke it?
  17. X-nicorn, the vagrant myth creature
  18. Gala of wallets
  19. Simplified Enigmas are things up-side-down
  20. “The Cheapskate and His Box of Nickles” is the newest band to hit the charts.
  21. Stereohorn: Is it an animal or a sound system?
  22. A Complex Network of Marshmallow Crème
  23. Many Naughty Words Were Spoken By God’s Children
  24. Without the yellow pages, honey, I can’t reach out and touch you.
  25. Mr. Pistol denies his phallacies
  26. Crying for laughs
  27. Who could forget the bottom of the box?
  28. Bothering the Hell Out of the Devil
  29. MY speech BALLOONS are COLORED.
  30. G. Whiz, the magical gangster
  31. The Season of Static CLING and Ringaround the COLLAR
  32. Have a pina colada with your panda bear
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